Hair loss. It’s not a problem I’ve ever had to deal with. But according to the “literature” (aka internet), I’ll most likely be losing my hair by the end of the month. Of course I’ve known it from Day One. Cancer means chemotherapy means hair loss.
So a few weeks ago I began considering what I’d do about it (Sinead O’Connor I’m not). Almost immediately I dismissed the idea of a wig. I tried one many, many years ago, just for fun, and wore it out of the house maybe twice. It felt uncomfortable. It felt fake. It felt conspicuous. It felt like everyone was pointing at me and shouting WIG! WIG! I’m sure wig technology has made amazing advances since then, but it doesn’t matter. The problem isn’t wigs; it’s me. One needs a certain amount of confidence and daring to wear a wig in public and I don’t have it. (I envy the sister who wore one to my wedding and I never suspected.)
Okay, so what about hats? I can do hats. I have hats. I wear hats. Occasionally, anyway. So when I found a couple of cute embroidered bucket hats online, I ordered them right away. The perfect solution. One of my favorite hats is an old denim bucket hat that I keep at the ready in the car. But I guess it’s been a while since I put it on in front of a mirror. Or maybe I never did. Because when the new hats arrived and I tried one on, I almost burst into tears. Ugh! No way!
I should have known. Hats are like any other clothing. They always look great on the models … and I’m no model.
So much for bucket hats. Maybe at some point I’ll try a newsboy cap or some other style. But I’m not feeling very hat-confident right now.
That leaves me with assorted scarves and turban/beanie type things. So this afternoon I spent several hours shopping for something that looks tolerable (cute would be a bonus) and isn’t a bucket hat. I homed in on the more casual-looking stuff, bandana-type scarves and kerchiefs (I have tons of bandanas but they aren’t quite big enough for the coverage I’ll need). There are a lot of pretty scarves, prints, etc., but most look too dressy for my everyday ultra-casual style. And as anyone knows, you can’t wear just any color with any other color. So I was picking and choosing, trying to get a mix of styles and colors, but not ordering too many until I can try them on and hopefully find something I like. I’m used to lots of trial, error, and return with mail order shopping, but I’m feeling a lot of pressure now to find something — anything — before my hair starts falling out.
I finally ordered two bandana/kerchiefs, one plain knit cap, and one lace-trimmed knit cap that looked nice on an older woman (most of the models look 40ish or younger). At worst one of them should be better looking than a bucket hat … shouldn’t it?